My girlfriend and I, a few months ago, started talking about the runes. I explained to her that although I’d spent time studying and working with the runes, I never really felt connected to them. This was ten years ago … then I basically stopped working with them outright and after a while, started thinking about tarot cards. We talked about some of what I had written about the runes a decade ago, and she had a suggestion, something she has been doing to help her connect to the runes: wear them ….
I was very hesitant to do this. Once upon a time, I started wearing a Valknut pendant, and learned the hard way that wearing symbols before fully understanding them is just not the smartest thing to do. This was why I chose not to wear the runes then, it’s why I hesitated a few months ago. But, as seems to be the case a lot of times, I felt inspired by her and thought I would start trying to connect to the runes this way. What I mean by ‘wearing’ the runes is simply drawing a rune on the skin with a red marker (either a permanent marker, or a tattoo marker); then leaving the rune there (or re-drawing it when necessary) for a specific period of time. I am wearing my runes right above my sternum. My girlfriend varies the amount of time she wears her runes … with some runes, she says she connects with them faster, while others take longer to run their course. Me, I like the number nine for this way too much to resist – and although I’m reluctant to admit it half the time, I’m also partial to structured approaches.
So I am now wearing Thurisaz. I have thus far been surprised at the influences I’ve noticed while wearing the runes this way. I have noticed connections that I never before noticed, and I have also come to understand these first three runes in ways different from how I understood them before. I’m not certain whether or not I will wind up working with the runes after this; but I’m determined to see my way through to Othala. Yesterday threw me for a real loop … it started with feeling the creative spark, a spark that quickly roared to life in a blazing torrent of ideas and energy. Readers who have followed this blog might remember that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder sometime ago, and was also released from all medical and therapeutic measures when it was determined by my psychiatrist and therapist that I had recovered from the disorder. Essentially, I learned how to turn myself into my own lithium pill. Well, this raging torrent of ideas and energy yesterday was frighteningly reminiscent of a strong hypomanic state … the storm in me was definitely in the mood to play! I allowed myself to tap into some of this energy, as I usually do in such cases; but this time, strangely, before I started to worry and begin the routines that usually bring this sort of energy down, the storm dissipated. Uncharacteristically, I was able to bring myself to sleep (usually, when trending hypomanic, I would sort of skip sleep for a day or two at a time).
Today, I woke up, feeling less-than-refreshed; but it didn’t take long until this also vanished, and I was left with a very clear head. Strangely, the ideas and thoughts were there … just about anything I needed to wrap my head around simply made sense … but the frenetic energy, the racing thoughts, the torrent of emotions, was noticeably not there. My girlfriend aptly described this as the ‘calm after the storm;’ and I’m strongly inclined to agree with her. She also suggested that this calm, clearheadedness might be the reward for having worked through what Thurisaz brought to the surface in my life.
Before Thurisaz, I wore Uruz and Fehu. Each had something different to ‘say,’ and each has thus far spoken differently. Like with the tarot cards, it would seem each rune has its own distinct personality. I’m looking forward to the rest of the runes, even if I’ve now been fairly warned that it won’t all be easy (in fact, I have been warned that it will likely get harder, not easier). Once I’m through with this process, I will decide whether or not I feel connected enough to the runes to start working with them.